Photo Credit: April Greer
With all the articles on the internet and in magazines about how to get six pack abs, you surely know all the secrets by now. I will spare you from reading another overdone, unedited and plagiarized article that you’ve likely come across.
As I see it, it’s my duty as a fitness author to contribute at least one remarkable pile of text to the world regarding my thoughts on the overly-searched string of keywords known as six pack abs. So sit back, relax, and enjoy learning exactly how NOT to get six pack abs.
Eat Out All The Time
Yea, I said it. Go out to a different restaurant every night and chow down. Better yet, get up a few minutes early so you have time to sit in line at the McDonald’s drive-thru each morning.
Then for lunch, make sure there’s a local dine-in restaurant you enjoy – one that serves a plateful of pasta and cream sauce that could easily feed four. Don’t take any home for later – eat all of it before heading back to work.
For dinner, you could make a special trip to the Golden Corral or any other choice buffet for your evening of pure gluttony.
Jokes aside: We all know that most fast food choices are nothing but tasty calorie bombs. When you look at westerners (especially in the US), it’s obvious why a majority of us are overweight. Energy-dense food is in pure abundance when you have a fast-food chain on every corner, snack and soda machines in the lobby of your office building and pizza that can be delivered to your door in less than 30 minutes.
Less reason to move around, plus too much readily available food can only equal a ton of large, severely unhealthy people. If you don’t want six pack abs, eat your heart out.
Go On A Diet Low In Protein
Protein is essential to an optimal diet, regardless of whether or not you lift weights or not. Our body is composed of tiny building blocks known as amino acids, which make up proteins, which make up our body tissue. In short, we must consume protein in order to merely function and survive. Man shall not live on bread alone.
However, if you’re on this website, reading this article and you’ve made it this far, I’m sure you’re fairly interested in looking great with your clothes off, which to most people, means having a somewhat muscular body and a low(er) body fat than the average Joe or Jane.
I can pretty much guarantee that if you severely under eat on protein and continue working out as intense as most fitness enthusiasts do, muscle loss will occur. Overeat on other macronutrients while shunting your protein intake and weight gain is sure to follow – though it won’t be the coveted muscle tissue you drool about.
Perform High Intensity Exercise 8 Days Per Week
High intensity exercise can be classified as intense intervals (sprints) or intense strength/bodybuilding training. The key to preventing yourself from getting six pack abs in this case is to perform high intensity exercise as much as possible. One of two things will likely happen as a result and both will keep you from revealing those six pack abs.
- You will probably overeat – High intensity training is known to make people very hungry. It’s pretty easy to talk yourself into a chocolate shake after your measly 8-10 hill sprints. After all, you’ve worked really hard and burned 200-300 total calories. You totally deserve that shake because the calorie burn completely negates it. True story.
- You could get injured – Injury is another great way to keep from getting those six pack abs. It’s hard to maintain your muscle mass when you’ve torn a rotator cuff, or pulled a hamstring. High intensity training should be limited to 3-4 times per week and no more. But if six pack abs aren’t the goal, you should opt for 8 days per week of intensive training.
Stop Working Out
Just stop. Stop going to the gym. There are other narcissistic goals to pursue. Working out is overrated anyway. Guys do it because they believe it will help them win the girl. However, girls don’t really care if you’re big and strong or sporting a six pack (see, it’s clear you should stop working out).
On the other side of the coin, many girls train because of this societal pressure to be skinny as a rail – most men aren’t too into the beanpole figure nor are they interested in their woman’s abdominal veins.
If you cease working out, your body is sure to atrophy and return to its previous, non-trained state. For most, that usually means an average build and body fat, and for some, it means being severely overweight.
Eat More Dairy
Dairy is the enemy. It’s impossible to reach your fitness goals according to this thread if you include dairy into your diet.
Dairy has this magical quality that makes you hold onto body fat no matter what. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a deficit or whether your training is optimal. I guess it’s official; if you want to remain chubby, just keep eating your cottage cheese and yogurt. It’s your friend when the goal is to keep from getting six pack abs.
Jokes aside: Alright, I couldn’t let this go without at least giving my two cents. My opinion on dairy is that it’s very good for you, contains high quality macronutrients/micronutrients and can be a very satiating food choice. If you happen to be one of the unlucky folks who get stomach pains when consuming dairy, it’s simple and clear; you probably shouldn’t consume it.
However, if you’re like me and can drink a gallon of milk throughout the course of a day with no ill effects, you’re probably okay to be consuming this sweet nectar of the fitness gods.
In Closing
To all readers, veterans and new people here, I encourage you to continue thinking for yourselves. I encourage you to always remain skeptical and always ask questions. Never stop seeking the truth.
But more importantly, never forget who told you exactly how NOT to get six pack abs.
JC,
I really hope you answer this question b/c I know you are busy. Anyway, I noticed that you stated on one of the comments that you don’t work your core separately b/c you do a lot squats and deadlifts. Do you recommend that to others as well? I’m trying to streamline my workouts even more and I do a fair amount of squats and deadlifts too. Plus, I know that working your core just makes the muscles dense – they don’t give you a six-pack; lowering your body fat does. Besides, whenever I do the deadlifts, the next day my core is killing me so I have no doubt that those muscles are being worked! Thanks in advance. P.S. In case you didn’t see my other reply to you, my email is definitely working now.
I don’t do abs directly because I am either squatting or deadlifting (some variation) every single training session (3x per week). I’ve never had an issue with getting my abs to pop when dieting down and I never do abs. Most of my clients do no direct abs work, either.
I’m of the mindset that ‘abs are made in the kitchen not in the gym’. It’s really like 80% diet and 20% exercise for obtaining a six-pack. Coincidentally, getting my ‘girl-abs’ was the easiest thing I ever did, fitness-wise. Although to be fair, it’s much easier for women since we don’t have to get down to single-digit body fat percentages to see our abs which is nice.
thanks for all your comments. I’d love to email you but the one you’ve provided is not working…
Sorry, I just saw this. You can try it now – it’s working.
I love the sarcasm when talking about dairy products lol.
I always have a protein shake with milk after I exercise at night before bed (couple hours before bed) and I love eating cottage cheese and yoghurt then too
LMAO @ 8 days a week and low protein diet, every meal I eat has protein.
I really enjoyed this post
I did read the article and understand the joke….just saw comments about dairy being better left out when trying to get to really low body fat percentages…….overeaction on my part tho’ ….Lesson learned ! Dont get your head fooked over small stuff.
Thanks man
J
@Jeff: did you read the article? I was making a joke that dairy is “bad.” There’s nothing bad about dairy, but as in that thread I linked to, some people can get worked up about something over nothing.
Oh no ! Just as I thought I had everything worked out…..!
Cottage Cheese a no-no….? Really….? Have been looking at the “Leangains” Blog of Martin Berkhan……..Really big on Cottage Cheese and I thought ,”Great, I love the stuff too…….Go at it !”
Now I’m reading on here that its not so good….;-(
Yoghurt does tend to make me feel bloated but not Cottage Cheese though……what do you think..? Just eat it and see how things go, or do you really think it’s not good….? Can’t believe I’m getting paranoid about something as trivial as this but hey……..just trying to get it right….;-)
Cheers Dude
Jeff
Pish… I do all of those things and have an 8 pack beyotchhh! Now what?!
/end sarcasm
Ahh, good to be back.
Cool post. I agree on the dairy for getting mega lean, it is a great food in the diet but is best dropped when aiming for the low low % of bodyfat. I think this is to do with a role it has with water retention and making the skin look slightly soft.
I still love my raw milk, cottage cheese and yoghurt though! Also High Intensity Exercise daily is mad the stress hormones will halt fat loss in its tracks…..
Now you tell me…I just had half a container of cottage cheese for breakfast.
and the show is over…
Good article. I like the part about cardio. IMO you don’t need much cardio to loose weight! I have done one to none low session cardio workout (not on an empty stomack) per week with good resaults. Diet is the most important thing.
But I’m a little skeptical about the thing that you have be on a high protein when on a fatloss. There are plenty of normal people, who doesn’t care about beeing a bodybuilder and loose weight by counting calories.
Hey Siggi, I agree with you – diet is what determineswhether or not you gain, maintain or lose weight.
However, if you are talking about “normal” people just trying to lose weight and not necessarily body fat, then you’re correct. However, if your goal is to retain as much lean mass as possible, an intake of at least 1g/lb of body weight in protein is only going to help.
Also, a “high” protein intake is relative.
thanks a lot for stopping by!
Agreed JC.
Actually I’m a big fan of high protein intake (for me 1.5 g pro per pound of bw seems to work very well for me).
I love the part about fast food. It always sickens me to see people waiting 10 cars deep at the drive thru around lunch time. There is a Wegmans literally right next to a Burger King by my house. Those people in the drive thru line can go into Wegmans, spend the same money, actually eat well and in the same amount of time.
I’ll admit that I used to be a chronic cardio guy. I’m ashamed. I have become much wiser over the years.
Funny post.
Dan
Yea, right down the road, there’s a McDonalds that is always full. I just don’t get it. I’ve eaten plenty of big macs there and there’s nothing special about ‘em.
Miss Wegmans!
Love it??
“Perform High Intensity Exercise 8 Days Per Week”
Brotastic.
I hate cardio bunnies. Lift heavy+eat more+recover=grow. Lift heavy+eat less+recover=Lose.
It’s that simple. You don’t need cardio to achieve these results, unless you’re trying to get to contest condition.
Yea, simple it is. However, many choose not to believe it OR they still don’t know. I need to get on my evangelizing.
You know that some people are going to completely miss the “not,” skim,read only the headers and do all those things, right? Too funny. At least they’ll be getting in some dairy.
I do think a part 2 is in order-after all, there’s only 6 foods that work when you’re leaning out, right?
I can’t believe you done this.
Haha… I’m going to the darkside!
Sweet post JC – I like to twist to the normal (and now boring) approach of how to get 6 pack abs that assumes we all want washboard abs!
As you know, I also took a slightly different approach to this much covered topic: Want to Know How to Get Six Pack Abs for Summer? (for anyone who hasn’t read it).
I used to crave chiseled abs and yes I still think a toned six pack is impressive but it is important to take a step back and ask why you want them: Is it just because you think they will make you more attractive to the opposite sex? If it is, then that may not be the truth…
I say keep striving for a tone stomach but remember that there’s more to life than a 6 pack
And yes the ost 6 pack I ever achieved was primarily through diet alone whilst I was injured!
Good article, Luke.
glad you mentioned that spot reduction is a sham!
What about fruit, that stuff is deadly on a cut. That’s just common bro knowledge, you’ll never get the six pack eating crap like that.
Do I need to write a part II???
*snickers* 8 days of HIIT per week.
I do like ten days a week, fourteen months out of the year, bro-man!
I do javelin throws with barbells, and run after them to try and catch them before they hit ground. Totally works your lats bro.
Totally.
Hey JC,
Sweet Six Pack by the way
.
I was going to ask, people say “abs are made in the kitchen, not the gym”.
Now, obviously you need to have low body fat in order to have a 6-pack, but the reason I don’t like this remark is because don’t you need some muscle there as well?
Because you don’t see anorexic people with 6-packs.
Or am I wrong?
No, you’re right. Abs are just like any other muscle – they need to be trained and are capable of hypertrophy. Genetics determine the shape and oftentimes size of the area but training them optimally does give you a better chance of having six pack once you drop the fat.
I agree with you on the analysis of I presume extensive anecdotal evidence. From someone who wants to lose weight point of view if they are added say maybe 50-100ml of milk, probably 1%, to their coffee or tea they are adding calories, which will be perceptively invisible. Much the same way that you load straws of hay on a donkey’s back one or two is not going to break it but maybe a thousand will. Numbers may not be the same but I hope you get the picture.
From memory I don’t think there are any trans fats in milk so you if hit your numbers you are going to be burning it off. Plus it’s going to be a source of calcium when you are cutting, I doubt people will be eating EVIIILLLL cheese.
yea, lot of people forget about adding it to their coffee. This applies to other food/comdiments as well. Ever heard of barbecue sauce?
I also like to leave it in the diet due to the calcium content.
umm,..there’s something wrong with cheese???
this post came in the Right time JC, am striving to get six packs since few months now
Glad you found it useful despite my snarky sense of humor!